Alexander Pope

Rusticus, in The Daily Gazetteer (26 August 1738).

If what P—pe says be true, nor all a Jest,
That thro' the world whatever is, is best:
That but a Peg, if from the Fabrick stole,
Wou'd quite unhinge, and ruinate the Whole,
And that by Consequence, within the Plan,
There must be somewhere, such a thing as Man:
'Tis full as plain a Consequence, I hope,
There must be somewhere, such a Man as P—pe:
Some where there must, — and best of all there shou'd,
Be such a hodgepodge Sound of Bad and Good;
Such wide Extremes identically joyn'd,
Distorted so in Body, and in Mind,
Who can the Best in foulest Colours paint,
The Worst in fair — make B—l—broke a Saint.
Can Hunter-like, by Turns blow hot and cold:
Pray like B—t—n, like W—l—n curse and scold.
And as impell'd by diff'rent Fits and Qualms,
Applaud loose Sonnets, and lampoon the Psalms:
Can cry down others for their leud Amours,
Yet keep at home a Brace, or so, of Wh—res.
His Country's Foes caress, and Friends revile,
Frown on the Loyal, on the Factious smile.
Against his Prince, his keenest Malice arm,
Then wipe his Mouth, and cry, pray where's the Harm?