ENGLISH POETRY 1579-1830: SPENSER AND THE TRADITION
Rev. Jonathan Swift
P. B., "An Easy and sure Receipt to cure the Piles; in a Letter to D. Sw—t" Weekly Register (3 February 1733).
Rev. Jonathan Swift:
1690: Sir William Temple
1704: William King
1713: Bp. Francis Atterbury
1713: Matthew Prior
1713: Alexander Pope
1716: Sir Richard Blackmore
1722: Matthew Concanen
1726: John Gay
1729: Thomas Cooke
1732: Rev. Jonathan Swift
1733: Patrick Delany
1733: P. B.
1734: A. V-gh-n
1734: John Sican
1737: Alexander Pope
1739: Edward Lonergan
1742: John Winstanley
1745 ca.: Anonymous
1745: C. B-r
1746: Henry Jones
1750: William Shenstone
1752: Nathaniel Weekes
1755: Robert Lloyd
1758: G. G.
1766: John Cunningham
1772: Rev. John Ball
1773: Samuel Johnson
1776: James Beattie
1782: Rev. Joseph Warton
1782: Rev. Joseph Warton
1783: Rev. Hugh Blair
1784: Thomas Sheridan
1788: A Young Author in Dublin
1796: Thomas Green
1797: William Godwin
1799: Lady Catherine Rebecca Manners
1802: Thomas Dermody
1806: Dr. John Aikin
1807: Robert Southey
1808: Thomas Clio Rickman
1814: Isaac D'Israeli
1814: Sir Walter Scott
1816: Leigh Hunt
1818: Samuel Taylor Coleridge
1818: William Hazlitt
1822: Tobias Oldschool
1824: Bryan Waller Procter
1826: Richard Ryan
1829: Anna Brownell Jameson
1846: Denis Florence M'Carthy
1858: Walter Savage Landor
1860: George Gilfillan
1880: Edmund Gosse
1882: Epes Sargent
1732: Leonard Welsted
1733: Rev. Jonathan Swift
In a Letter which you sent
Your humble Servant down in Kent,
A whole large Sheet, and ev'ry Line
Adorn'd with Wit, and drest in Rhime,
You gave me this Receipt to cure
The Piles, an easy one and sure:
To wit; When first the Piles do come,
With Laureat's Odes to wipe our Bum.
Now I ne'er had the Piles; but yet
I thought that this your fam'd Receipt,
Not only present ones would cure,
But against future us secure.
On purpose up I went to Town,
And for such Odes laid out a Crown:
And with them daily wip'd my Bum.
But ere one Week was past, I found
My Breech with Piles was spangled round;
And what I thought would sure prevent 'em,
Had contrary to Reason sent 'em.
I oft curst the Receipt, and swore
I'd serve it as the Odes before.
And then, to shew my Spite the better,
I wip'd my — with the whole Letter.
When, O strange Miracle to tell!
I found myself that Instant well.
The Piles retreated from the Plain,
And have not since encamp'd again.
For this, my Gratitude is fervent,
And I remain your humble Servant;
My Name in Length won't come in Rhyme,
So you'll excuse it for this Time;
Howbeit, 'tis proper you should see
The two first Characters, P. B.
I'd have ye keep such Secrets by y',
If any pilish Folk live nigh y'.